my phone needs a breathalizer
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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