remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
