by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
