Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
