theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize