He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
