Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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