What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
