and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
