how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
