I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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