its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
