so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
