Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
