Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
