I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
