so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am one with the molecules
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
