I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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