I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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