Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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