You just made me feel so damn special
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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