can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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