i was born a porn star she said
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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