After last night, I could never be a politician.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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