I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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