If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
