The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
