You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
