I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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