It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i out mim tonsoeep
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