if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
