3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
