Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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