you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
