i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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