I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
