Plan B is the new Plan A
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
