Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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