She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize