it was like his penis was on wheels.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
