i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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