The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize