So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
