yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
