I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
