no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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