you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
