my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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