Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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