Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize