your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
