he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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