Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
