Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You can't motorboat a personality
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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