Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
