Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
