You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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