90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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