Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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