I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
