problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
