i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
