I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize