i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
